Universal Basic Income, a world full of pensioners

everyone likes tiddlywinks

Universal Basic Income is the idea that everyone is given a bit of free cash, say £600 a month, for doing nothing, like a plebeian version of the House of Lords expenses, or half the public sector.

Various pilot schemes are being run to try and work out whether this is a good idea or not, but we don’t need these pilot schemes, because we already know the outcome. Pensioners.

Pensioners get given a bit of cash each month, enough so that if they have behaved even vaguely competently in life thus far and acquired a house, they can use that money to buy extravagant £5 meals, including a pint, in canal pubs frequented by biker gangs with a heart of gold.
The incompetent pensioners won’t have enough money, because they shoved all their earnings into fruit machines over 40 years worth of Friday nights out, so they will spend their time bitching about how they can’t live on the money they get, whilst simultaneously living on the money they get.
A few pensioners will give talks on subjects which they may actually understand for the benefit of society, and a few will just spout nonsense about how your brain gets full when you get old, and that’s why you have trouble remembering where you put your glasses.

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