The Tories would impose laws on lettuce buying

green lettuce

Stay with me, this tenuously goes somewhere.

The lettuce in the fridge was out of date. There were 2 bags of plant matter; one had a best before date of 30/5/2017, the other 6/6/2017. Not wanting to be the prick who leaves someone else with the old lettuce, I took the old bag. Opened it up… bleh, moist and decaying.

So this pisses me off, that’s £1 down the toilet. That another period of time I have to sit in some office working, instead of sitting on a sunny balcony reading. So let’s stop this happening again I think and imagine the following rules:

  1. Only I buy the lettuce – my inventory management skill set will avoid such issues. But then I have to go to the shops when I can’t be arsed and everyone else has to ask me for lettuce? Nah.
  2. Only buy one bag of lettuce at a time. That will reduce the risk, but I guess sometimes we might need two bags? Maybe.
  3. Only buy lettuce with a few days leeway on the best before date. Impractical. You take what you can sometimes.

Then I told the Mrs, she expressed regret, and I suspect we will both be slightly less enthusiastic about buying lettuce, to reduce the risk of it happening again. Sure, it might happen again, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

If the Tories had this problem, say a few days before an election, they would vow to enshrine all of the above in law, in a vain attempt to stop lettuce-gate happening again. Relax, you just need to accept that bad things happen and don’t trample on anyone’s liberty to buy lettuce.

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