The BBC, too scared to report the news properly

I once met a jovial Santa-like man on a plane who was travelling to Denmark, to play some music. His CV included performing music for the old TV show “Bod”, which he still received occasional royalty cheques for. So that’s a heart warming story about the BBC out of the way, so I can now call them pussies without feeling guilty.

The BBC recently did a piss poor job of reporting something that happened, they won’t tell you what actually happened, just that it was bad words, and we can’t be having having bad words, because people will get upset and cry.

Besides, if you are going to call a bunch of people naughty names, it may as well be the micks, because in my experience, they aren’t generally a load of pussies (except maybe the ones who work for the BBC). Anyway, the BBC won’t tell you what naughty words were said, so you can’t decide how terrible the words were, and the section of the police force tasked with preventing hurt feelings are investigating.

Update 7/6/2017:

non bearded terrorist
A non bearded terrorist (right). 

Police anti-terror procedures were thrown into chaos yesterday when it was revealed that a terrorist didn’t have a beard.
A real police spokesmen said “We thought we didn’t have to monitor people without beards, but now we are a little unsure what to do. We have no plans to start monitoring people with blond hair at this time”.

A hurt feelings police spokesman said “All of a sudden, the fact you were called a nasty name on the internet doesn’t seem so important”.

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