Stop helping red squirrels

Fox holding a dead squirrel

Stop helping red squirrels by discriminating against grey squirrels.

Red squirrels have the same opportunities as grey ones. They live in the same environment (trees), they eat the same food, they are both tasty treats for foxes, they have the same education, unless red squirrel fathers are absent and that causes them problems? Anyway, all this adds up to – don’t disadvantage grey squirrels because the reds can’t get their shit together as a race, er, I mean a species of squirrel.

In my youth there was a friendly grey squirrel living behind the garden that was eventually tame enough, after much coaxing, to tentatively snatch nuts from my hand. Apparently instead of feeding this clever fellow, I should have stamped the little fucker into the mud with a Dr Martens boot, because red squirrels have a bunch of bleeding heart liberals backing them up who want me to fuck over grey squirrels because that makes life fair?

The government loves any opportunity to shit away more of your cash too. Oh yes, there’s always a little project here or there that is a special case and needs funding despite the national debt servicing costing £50 billion a year.

Next time I visit the Isle of Wight I’m releasing my personal cache of grey squirrels, then we can see some true equality in action. Affirmative action is always against someone, and that kind of bullshit needs to stop.

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