Coffee is apparently a unit of currency now

Coffee as currency

Recap on the standard measurement units used by shitty media outlets:
Weight – elephants.
Distance – length to the moon and back, sub unit – double decker buses.
Land area – the size of Wales.
Computer speed – Apollo 11 processing power.

We can also now add to this list, Currency – “a cup of coffee per <time unit>”, which I have frequently seen popping up. Even the Guardian seems to think I jizz away £3 a day on a caffeine fix, when in reality I am too cheap to host this website on anything better than a Raspberry Pi 2, which isn’t actually a problem because only I read it.

But here’s the thing that really pisses me off, you define whatever money you want from me in terms of something else to make it seem like less money, and more trivial. Instead of honestly stating the actual amount. It’s a shitty, tiresome method and you automatically go on my “obfuscators to chillingly murder when I finally crack” list.

This currency has succeeded “The price of a first class stamp”, which everyone blanked from their minds after Royal Mail made it too confusing by charging based on letter sizes.

On the rejoicing side, I feel smug because it is another way in which people waste their money that I don’t join in with, so I can avoid doing an IT job for a while longer. Anyway, now I am going to make myself a cup of coffee, and spend the money I saved on a farm in Africa.

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