Children’s birthday parties, an unstoppable chain reaction

evil clown

Here is a great business model, based on middle class guilt, the willingness of mothers to waste money, and their ability to convince fathers to waste money:

  1. Find a parent who has a child at a decent school, you may use; median income, number of name brand trainers, or general colour of the kids as a guide for this.
  2. Host a free birthday party for that kid and 30 other screeching tykes they get to invite, supply the event location, treat bags including a flyer for your company which organised all this, a malevolent looking clown and the opportunity to buy 3 photos for £15, because parents lose all sense of perspective when a piece of paper with their brats particular visage is waved in front of them. Feel free to use shitty pigments that fade after a week, you won’t get called on it.
  3. Wait for further business to come rolling in as the invited kids parents realise they are obliged to join in this fuckwitted chain reaction of kids parties you have started.
  4. When you get sick and tired of this nonsense, announce you will similarly corrupt the concept of “names days” to double your prospective business, wait for the share price to jump, then bail and start a restaurant or principality where children are not allowed.

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