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- Have mobile phone insurance? You are probably a flaky alcoholic
How hard is it to keep an object and not;
drop it down the toilet?
lose it on a night out?
tread on it at home? It is *easy*. Unless you consistently get drunk, and spend a decent amount of your time staggering around like a concussion grenade has exploded next to your K cider cans (those also being a red flag). Like all insurance, it is a bad bet, so just stop it.
- You run out of credit? You are unreliable
It isn’t exactly rocket science to keep a number greater than zero by the periodic throwing of small amounts of cash at it. Create a monthly to do list, and add “sort yourself out” to it. I bet you can’t turn up to meetings on time either.
- Own two phones/Sim cards? You are a slag
One for the bitch you is with, one for the bitch you is seeing later?
Don’t pretend one is for work either.
See also, Mad Men and the “executive account”.
- Have a phone contract? You are shit with money
Save up and buy a phone instead. Can’t afford to? Buy a second hand one from your local chav shop. Living with an unnecessary future financial obligation is foolish. Buy everything outright, or don’t buy it. If ever you are tempted to walk into BrightHouse, punch yourself in the face until the brain damage is corrected.