<Opens front door>
“Hello, we would like to invite you to our Jehovah’s Witness meeting!”
<attempts to hand over leaflet>
“No thanks, we don’t believe in the gods in this household.”
“We don’t believe in the gods”
“My point exactly”
<Closes door, goes back to watching Battle Bots, skipping Faruq Tauheed sections>
At least they didn’t scream at me through a Megaphone, unlike those obnoxious Muslims in the sensory shithole that is Birmingham.
AI upscaling is fantastic, and it’s only a matter of time before a service that magics the DVDs you put in your PC, PS5 and lets you view them upscaled a while later.
Holy fuck look at this:
using Topaz Gigapixel AI upscales to this:
Now we are on less sure footing for making fun of those “Enhance” scenes from Blade Runner et al.
The Twilight Zone DVD framecap (ironically available on bluray anyway) changed from this:
Although, everyone will have weird teeth.
It will be like Westworld, where you need to look at the hands to see if they are a robot or not.
Officially “Living in the future”.
A few months ago, engaging in my quest to own as little as possible, in order to have to clean as little as possible, in order to sit at home playing video games as much as possible, I went to CEX to sell my iphone4.
Their website said I could pocket £40 odd quid, for a device which runs a browser clunkily, is a decent podcast machine, a fucking terrible itunes crippled music player and only ever had about 2 decent games. All I had to do was visit a shop that plays shit music loudly and smells of piss, taking me closer to the chav lifestyle, rounding my personality, making me less of a monster.
So I visit in a weekday afternoon, like a true job shy CEX punter. They take the iphone4, say they need to run a few tests, fair enough. I wander around the local pound shops, imaging that I could empty half the establishment of swag for the mountain of coin that will shortly be tumbling my way.
20 mins later, back in the land of CSI box sets, they inform me they can’t take it, apparently it has a crack or a chip on the back, invisible to my elderly, cripple eyes. I suggest they didn’t really want it anyway, they reasonably state that is not true, as buying and selling is how they make cash.
So I look at my iphone4, it looks it pretty good nick to me, but CEX, which smells of piss, has higher standards than me. Christ, what must my house smell like? 🙁
First we has the NES Classic Mini, or didn’t, because Nintendo only made 8 of them.
Then we had the SNES Classic Mini, the first Mini version with games that weren’t just fondly remembered trash.
The wisdom of the idiotic crowds at Neogaf suggest that next up is N64 Classic Mini, but this ignores the fact that Nintendo is going to balk at the minor cost of adding a couple of those N64 pads and a more powerful ARM chip and exploit something else first.
So next will be the Gameboy Classic Mini, which will finally mean we have a GB with a decent screen and a huge battery life. If this was Sony, they’d throw in an OLED screen, but Nintendo’s solipsism will take over and they’ll cheap out and it’ll be LCD with dead pixels instead. Hell, they’ll probably even take the opportunity to reduce the flash storage to save .5p per unit. You might get a bluetooth audio connection.
After that we’ll get the Gameboy Advance Mini, then the N64, followed by the Gamecube, because technology advancement is the one of many things in life that gets better with every passing year.
Sony meanwhile is readying there own version of PS1 Classic Mini, but is having a hard time mimicking the texture warping in software, for all the multitudinous millions who are too lazy to set up Retropie.
So for posterity, here is the timeline:
2016 – NES Classic Mini
2017 – SNES Classic Mini
2018? – Game Boy Classic Mini
2019?- Game Boy Advance Classic Mini/ Playstation 1 Classic Mini
2020? – N64 Classic Mini
2021? – Gamecube Classic Mini/ Playstation 2 Classic Mini
Lawrence of Arabia is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and has no women speaking in it. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
So it was brave of the new Star Trek Discovery to have the 2nd scene be the preposterous idea of two women*, talking to each other, about something other than a man. I realise its set in a make believe science fiction far future, but something a little less far fetched wouldn’t have gone amiss. I can only suspend disbelief so far.
On the plus side, the fashion for draining all the colour from the picture has been cast aside, and a gorgeous riot of colour assaulted my eyes. It might be the best looking TV show ever, even more so than The Forms of Things Unknown.
I was hugely entertained by the entire show. It had lots of explosions, no one did anything idiotic and my attention was rapt. Unlike the other recent superb Trek series The Orville, thanks to it being on Netflix, I can legitimately review this one without it being obvious I pirated it.
*although one of them is called Michael, which I can only assume got mixed up with