Back in the 1970’s, when you could blame your ever present level of smouldering violence on the lead in petrol, there were collectable cards included when you bought a box of tea bags. In the halcyon days before the government essentially introduced prohibition via oppressive regulation, and all you smokers caved in because apparently you don’t have a problem with having to smoke outside the pub in the rain like a tramp, you’d also get them in your smooth smoking, richly flavoured cigarettes too.
You’d nag your mum to get the brand with the cards, because who gives a shit about the specific taste of a variety of dead leaves when their are colourful, delightfully drawn cards to collect?
Since then, printing technology has improved, costs have decreased and these cards have disappeared. So now I have to stare at a mobile phone at breakfast to avoid talking to whoever else is in the room, instead of reading the compact, life enriching, educational, inspiring prose on the backs of these cards.
Let’s bring them back, you could make them stickers too (stickers which teachers now use as a substitute to having to verbally reward kids: kid didn’t shit themselves today – sticker. Kid didn’t stab desk mate with a compass – sticker) and I could hang around at school gates with the believable pretence of “swapsies”.
Unilever and British American Tobacco have been emailed for comment.