2 shitty companies that make you haggle over the phone

Aviva bill creep increase comparison

Virgin Media has a nasty habit of bill creep, like a dodgy employee who pockets increasing amounts of swag from the warehouse every month when he thinks you aren’t paying attention, he has no respect for you, his filching fingers aren’t going to stop.

Whilst listening to their tinny, compressed hold music chosen by a 5 year research project entitled “What music is least likely to make our customer find the CEOs house and torch it”, you consider your life choices that have resulted in this foolish waste of time for both parties. Then they offer you a better deal, and your pyromaniac tendencies are subdued for a while, but you still migrate your email to gmail, because you know those fuckers will try something on in the future.

Aviva building and contents insurance are just as bad, for years they behave themselves, you begin to slightly… like them. Then you get a quote for £140.90, and think “I am sure it didn’t cost that much last year to protect my tiny Victorian terraced slum”. Being of an age where you long ago put insurance companies on your untrustworthy shit list, you dig out the paperwork, oh look, it was £124 last year. A quick check on houses randomly burning down and crime stats, and and you think, this premium should have gone *down*, not up!

So you do a search online, for the first company whose grating TV ads you didn’t quite manage to avoid scarring an unwanted path in your synapses, and see quotemehappy.com will do the same cover for £92.38. You phone up Aviva, they go down to £125 ish, but like a hooker with some remaining self worth and who recently got a fix, won’t go down to £115 despite your best “I am not bluffing” voice.

So you think, my empty life gives me enough time and energy to strike a blow for free market capitalism, and you get the new insurance. Then you notice “Quotemehappy.com is a trading name of Aviva Insurance Limited”.

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